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Receiving
line
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As if there isn’t already enough for
you to consider and decide about your wedding, there is one thing that
is sure to be one of those things you hate having to make a decision
about. Should you or should you not have a receiving line?
In the history of weddings, the most formal of weddings always had
receiving lines. Especially at affairs that hosted hundreds of guests,
the receiving line might be the one time during the event when everyone
got their chance to speak with the bride and groom and the host and
hostess of the wedding to offer their congratulations and their good
wishes. Today, etiquette dictates that any wedding with more than 50
guests should have a proper receiving line, and it is still the best way
for the bride and groom to welcome each guest personally and for the
guests to offer their best wishes to the couple.
A receiving line is always done after the wedding ceremony is complete,
but time may decide for you where to have the receiving line. It is
customary to greet your guests immediately following the ceremony, at
the location of the ceremony. If you have married in Church, for
example, the receiving line is customarily held at the back of the
church or on the steps of the Church as people leave. The Church
schedule, however, may not allow time for a receiving line, especially
if there is another wedding or other Church function scheduled to be
held immediately following your ceremony. In that instance, it is
perfectly acceptable to have the receiving line at the reception. If you
want to greet your guests as they enter the reception location, however,
keep in mind that you will not have much time for photographs following
the ceremony.
Who stands in the receiving line is an age old question, and it is made
more complicated when there are divorced and/or remarried parents
involved. The ushers and groomsmen are never included in a receiving
line. This is the time where they might be paying the officiant or
helping clean up as the guests leave the Church, picking up programs and
other wedding items. They can also use this time to socialize as the
guests wait in line. Traditionally, at the front of the receiving line
was the mother of the bride, considered the hostess of the event, and
next to her was the father of the bride, the traditional host. Next to
them, the groom’s parents were positioned. The bride and groom were next
in line, followed by the maid of honor, the best man, and in the most
traditional sense, the bridesmaids.
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for the bridesmaids to mingle rather than
stand in the receiving line, and the parent’s position is somewhat
blurry. If your parents are divorced, it is best not to stand them next
to each other, implying that they are still a couple. You have several
options with regard to your parents. Some couples opt not to have anyone
stand in the receiving line with them, thus eliminating the need to make
a decision about where to put divorced parents. If you wish to include
your parents, you could choose to have your father mingle among the
guests as they exit the church or arrive at the reception, while only
the mothers stand in the receiving line. Another option you could
utilize is the bridesmaid buffer method. This is where you separate your
parents with a bridesmaid or your maid of honor, so there is a clear
indication that they are not a couple, but they are both included in the
receiving line as hosts of the wedding. It is up to the couple to decide
whether or not to include step-parents in a receiving line, and the best
way to deal with including them is to use the bridesmaid buffer method
to separate the couples.
If you are at a loss as to what to say in a receiving line, you can take
cues from the guests, and simply offer your thanks for their
congratulations and for their attendance at your wedding. You may find
yourself in the position to make introductions. There will be members of
your extended family or possibly friends you have not seen in a while
that have never met your bride or groom, and you can use this
opportunity to make the necessary introductions. You might also
introduce your parents to your partner’s family if the opportunity has
not presented itself before for the families to meet. Especially if you
will be receiving a large number of guests, keep your comments to a
minimum, smile and say thank you, so that everyone can get to the party!
Whatever you choose to do, it is crucial to personally greet each and
every guest who has made the effort to attend your wedding. Whether you
have a formal receiving line or do an informal visit from table to
table, do not miss the opportunity to thank everyone for sharing in your
special day.
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